Thursday, April 30, 2009
So lately i've been fed up. People seem to haunt me, and i allow it to graze by, untouched. I guess as well as playing the victim, in allowing it to pass by, i also become part of the problem, leaving things unsaid. I have a few friends, who play a game. This 'game', as i like to call it, can really fuck with the system. They pretend. Pretend to agree, understand, acknowledge, recommend and so much as care what you have to say, and then turn around and use it against you with another friend. Hello player two. It becomes a recurring cycle of finders keepers, losers weepers. Even strategy comes into play, not allowing two people to sit next to each other, cutting of conversation, scheme planning and dividing the group to an extent where you feel like you are the outsider up against your closet and dearest friends. I know it's seems rather an extreme observation, but the pressure to 'stay behind the yellow line' is overbearing at the moment.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
When your lying in bed looking at the ceiling, it's a hot night, you feel the air stick to you like glue, can't sleep, tossing and turning, you stop. Then all you can think about is your life so far, the last conversation you had with someone familar you saw in the street, the last thing you ate, what will tomorrow bring, what you will wear on Thursday night, how to tell someone you love them. It's these endless nights i dread. Thinking about all my decisions, actions and thoughts through my life, i never surface with much good, the bad decisions, bad actions and bad thoughs always linger on the surface, and i can't escape. Its then that you force yourself to into sleeps desire, knowing you'll have no success. You must search for the side of yourself, you know and love, the positive, trusting side you hope yourself to be, and it is then and only then will sleeps bell ring, summoning your eyes shut. summonging anything shut.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Currently halfway through the gutwrenching piece. I had to stop for a breather, so much emotion evoking from places you throught you'd drowned out years ago. This book, lets you look at a life far from your own, gladly reassuring yourself your life isn't a deam, thank god. This boy entering manhood, yet still haunted by his vainity stricken, rather selfless past, finds his way through his childhood in Kabul a second time. Yet this time all truths which were faintly hinted too him throughout his past, come alive in an hysterical onslaught of contreversal family history. I can't put this book down, yet i'am terrified of how it will end. ciao
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Its Easter Sunday, the day formerly one of my favourite of the year, now slowly conforming to the rest of my mediocre life. Yet this year it isn't so bad, lots of food and lots of fun, and for once the family made an appearance, bravo! Even if it is only my uncle and two astranged cousins i didn't really know existed until a few years ago, it still turned out to be a rather eventful day. On the chocolate side of things, if its one thing i've learned with my teenage years, is too limit my chocolate intake, which is fabulous, i can walk and not feel like vomiting all over the shop. Thankyou for dying jesus this candy tastes awsome. ciao
It's a saturday, and i just sat infront of 4hours worth of opera. I cant say i didn't enjoy it, it was fairly amusing the whole handsome masked crusader. Christina's skin was breath taking, in all honesty the main reason i kept watching, was so milky and smooth. So therefore i am now fascinated on the drag-theatre scene, contemplating on a masquerade for my eighteeth. Anyway just thought i'd let you in on my dirty little opera secret. ciao
Friday, April 10, 2009
Possibly the greatest invention known to man. It came up in a conversation today in visual art, and we came to realise it's potenial in the world. Although looking at it on a scientific level it might not seem so extordinary, but that aside its simply revolutionary. Going against all my mothers influences about paper and fire, safety first ofcourse, not this time my friends, go right a ahead! Wrapping sandwiches, to lining cookies, to pretty much tossing it in a fire, baking paper proves it's power, like gripping the vertical side of an egg, so precious yet so fucking strong. Baking paper, it's my kinda paper.